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LOVE & RELATIONSHIP

The mystery one can never decode
  • 2015-08-08 03:00:23
    Run, kenapa ya aku tuh jd orang begini banget :( br di chat 'hi' aja sama mantannya lgsg baper, game over deh. Padahal dia yg mutusin aku. Tiba-tiba. Sepihak juga. Then suddenly he simply came back like nothing happened. Why oh why men on earth once they see we dont want them anymore they come running back for our attention ya runnn??? Lelah banget w
    • hahahahahah.. emangnya susah ya mengatasi kebaperan ke mantan kalo tiba2 disapa/ketemu pasca putus? gampang banget tauk..... terutama untuk kasus kayak kamu gini. udah jelas2 diputusin demi ego dia...... sepihak kan kata kamu? berarti maksudnya gak ada diskusi dulu gitu kan? well..... the only reason why he "came back" irresponsibly sih ya untuk dirinya sendiri. bukan untuk kamu. mungkin lagi iseng & sepi.. tapi ada juga sih yang emang baru sadar kalo mantannya yang terbaik terus jadi dikejar lagi juga ada. jadi ya how to deal with this? show him that you really don't want him anymore. ya kecuali kamu masih mau sih ya.... kalo emang dia sebenernya baik selama kamu pacaran then you might give him another chance tapi saranku sih kalo udah tau cowo ini gak bener ya tai2in aja sih.... yang serius gak akan pergi kok. dan harga diri nihil gak sih kalo jadi keset gitu? kayak rokok kan, udah abis ya buang.. Allah.. mager dong kalo yes aja dipungut lagi? hmmm biasanya sih kalo udah sakit hati banget itu gampang bye nya. gak tau sih kalo kamu hahahaha. enak kali jadi kamu diputusin gitu kan gak akan nyesel jadinya. introspeksi buat jalanin hubungan selanjutnya iya, but no regret dong for now? dia yang malah bisa nyesel udah cabs.. jadi from my perspective, it's a benefit to be in your position. just make sure it's a "game over" for him, and a "game on" for you <3
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  • 2015-08-07 05:53:35
    Run want to ask something about 'the one' maksudnya kenapa gue menganggap semua temen pria itu nggak ada yg bener2 spesial ya. Hmm gimana ya menjelaskannya, maksudnya semacam ya semua sama penyikapannya ke mereka, nggak ada yg bener2 beda atau merasa yg dia itu 'special' atau bikin gue jadi agak2 gimana gitu. Harusnya memang begitu atau bagaimana ya? maksudnya ini perasaan yg lumrah atau emang seharusnya ga begini? Arigatouu xiexie non runceee sukses for everything u want in your lifeeee <3
    • heyy :"D menurut gw lumrah kok. when the cupid doesn't strike, it just doesn't. orang beda2 kan makanya. ada yang gampang baper dipinjemin pulpen aja langsung naksir..... ada juga yang kayak lo gini, mau se-oke apa cowonya juga gak menarik. gak ada yang salah kok :"") belom aja. ketertarikan juga terkadang bisa tumbuh kok. ada banget soalnya yang dibaikin dikit atau cakep dikit langsung fall :""") tapi ada juga yang udah dikejar2 & dikasih apapun yang diminta tetep aja gak doyan :""""D hahahaha. so just take it easy. don't force love.. if something is attractive for you then it will naturally spark your eyes kok.. ;D
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  • 2015-07-10 05:39:56
    hai kak! aku mau nanya dan minta saran dong. so i've been seeing this guy for this past few months. tapi aku kurang ngerti sama dia. aku udah sering jalan dan udah dikenalin ke keluarganya. tapi ya udah...gitu aja. abis jalan kayak kita ga line2an atau contact. kalo kita contact pun, ditengah2 dia suka ngilang gitu. kadang aku ngerasa dia hubungin aku kalo bosen ga ada temen jalan doang. tapi kadang aku liat dia itu emang tipe orang yang bukan mainan hp, dia jaraaang bgt megang hp kalo sama aku. bahkan nungguin aku di salon aja ga mainan hp. aku bingung sebenernya dia deketin aku tuh serius atau enggak kak. terus gimana caranya supaya buat dia nembak aku. tolong dijawab ya kak! makasih kak runny :)
    • "gimana caranya supaya buat dia nembak aku" yang ini rahasia ilahi dan aku saranin kamu gak perlu usahain apapun sih :""""D kalo bukan karena mereka yang usaha renang sekuat2nya untuk ketemu si sel telur juga gak bakal ada pembuahan kan. laki kalo mau, pasti dia kejar. nah ini ada quote yang aku jadiin mantra: "Ladies, if you have to ask a man, \ So what are we?\ or\ Where is this relationship going?\ The answer is nowhere. Men by nature are hunters and go for what they want. If he wanted you to be his wife, he would have proposed. If he wanted you to be his lady, he would have asked you. Men go hard for what they truly want. If he is not going hard for you, you are not what he wants." jadi ya keseriusan itu bukan untuk diduga2. keliatan & kerasa kok. memang disesuaikan juga sama karakter orangnya (emg ada yg dasarnya cuek). tapi if a guy really wants you, he'll try to get you. no doubt :D
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  • 2015-06-15 07:31:41
    Hi Run, aku tau cowo gak hrs selalu bayarin cewenya makan/nonton/ngedate. Tp keluargaku selalu blg kalo cowo hrs bayarin cewenya ngedate. Aku udh pernah blg hal ini ke cowoku, ngomongnya pun bingung krn gak enak krn ini agak sensitif. Tp ternyata dia tipe yg gak memusingkan hal kayak gitu. Siapa yg bayar, gak jadi masalah. Menurut km kalau dlm persenan brp porsi cowo dan brp porsi cewe utk saling bayarin? Ini sepele sih sebetulnya, tp gak tau knp agak gondok jg kalo hrs selalu bayar sendiri2. Mgkn krn keluargaku suka nanya2 iseng ke aku kalo cowoku ini suka bayarin apa gak. Jadilah aku suka diledekin sm adekku yg cowo, krn dia aja bayarin cewenya walaupun dia masih sekolah. Pdhl kita udah kerja. Kamu sependapat gak run? Apa cuma aku aja ya yg mikir gitu :"( aku hrs gimana ya? Help me Runny :"""(
    • adek kamu bayarin pacarnya kan juga pake uang ortu kamu........... hahahahah jadi at some points dia gak pantes ledekin sih :"") cuma ya oke, di satu sisi ada bagusnya pemikiran dia kalo tanggung jawab itu harus all about bayarin ceweknya... ya gpp juga terserah dia tapi gak seharusnya adek SMA kamu itu ngeledekin. hmmm ini terjadi banget sih di antara kita. mostly emang orang Indo cenderung anggep cewek harus dibayarin cowok, kalo gak cowok dianggep gak gentle. aku juga punya kok temen yang sempet bermasalah sama mantannya (dulu pacar) karena hal ini. ya soalnya dia (dan ibunya) mikir kalo cowok emang wajib bayarin cewek. gak salah samsek. dan gak bisa dibilang bener juga. soalnya menurutku masalah bayar2an kayak gini tuh tergantung budaya, kebiasaan, & kesepakatan dua belah pihak sih, di hubungan. even campur tangan ortu menurutku baiknya sebatas nasehat aja. beda2 deh, bener. menurutku cara pikir kayak gini itu karena di agama (namely Islam), cowok itu imam, kepala keluarga yang hukumnya wajib jib jib memberi nafkah. tapi sekarang let's face the reality kalo wanita punya kesempatan yang sama di pekerjaan dan peluang cari uang lebih itu ada banget. jadi kalo pemikiran kayak gini terus ada, bisa2 nanti malah berantem karena salah satu pihak gak mau rugi mana yang bayar lebih banyak. man... let's be more open-minded. kita sebagai cewek memang harus kasih kesempatan ke cowok untuk bisa lebih dominan (solely because they naturally are) dengan mereka bayarin kita, tapi apa perlu ada konflik hanya karena gaji & kemampuan kita lebih besar terus jadi bete karena harusnya cowok yang lebih banyak uangnya? gak perlu....... diomongin aja.... bikin kesepakatan di HUBUNGAN KALIAN karena yang berhubungan emang cuma kalian, bukan orang tua bukan adek bukan temen bukan orang lain. dari tadi ini aku ngomong ini untuk pasangan suami istri sih sebenernya.................. kalo masih pacaran sih...... hahahah yaudalaya.... aku di rumah selalu diajarin untuk mandiri di hal2 kayak gini tapi aku juga diimbau untuk memilih orang dengan latar belakang yang jelas, setara ataupun lebih... jadi kalo ditanya persenan berapa dll ya yang tau cuma kalian berdua :""""D kalo kamu gak suka harus bayar sendiri, kamu ngomong, kalo ternyata dia emang mikir kalo bayar2an tanggung jawab masing2 yaudah putus aja...... putus bukan karena dia gamau bayarin, tapi karena kamu gondok kalo harus bayar sendiri :""""") gondok2 ngapain dijalanin..... it's as simple as accepting or leaving kan? aku personally gak ngerasa itu penting2 banget... yang penting orangnya gak males & pelit. mau berusaha untuk kebahagiaan bersama. dan akunya juga gak mau manja dong! walaupun emang dibayarin tapi kita tetep harus kerjasama. earn together, spend together. paling gak suka itung2an & gamau rugi gituu <3
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  • 2015-06-15 06:52:31
    Kak run, mau tanya kalo cowo udah usia 26 kenapa tiba2 putus? maksudnya semacam mutusin ceweknya, padahal kalo dipikir kan usia2 itu bener2 mau yg serius kan untuk ke pelaminan misalkan. Ohya menurut kakak, kalo cowok membuatkan minum itu nilai plus ga? slnya jarang aja liat cowo di era sekarang ini yg begitu! sukses selalu kak runce
    • orang beda2 sih..... belom tentu umur tuh nentuin kesiapan/kemauan untuk menikah. jadi kalo cowok umur 26 minta putus ya bisa jadi sama aja kayak yang masih SMA.... singkat kata sih, emang udah gak mau aja :""D alesannya bisa karena bosen, ngerasa gak bahagia, gak cocok, atau bisa jadi mau gak mau harus putus karena keadaan (beda agama atau beda visi)... tapi kalo itu kan biasanya gak perlu mutusin tapi yaudah, pisah karena keputusan bersama. cowok buatin minum maksudnya minuman apa :""""""") sirup/teh/kopi gitu? :"D hahahaha, ya bagus lah tandanya kan sweet.... dan perhatian.... hahahah lebih nilai plus lagi sebenernya kalo itu bukan dilakuin cuma pas lagi ngejar aja sih :""") tapi seterusnya bahkan pas udah nyaman ;p
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  • 2015-06-02 07:06:14
    Hey run. Panggil aja aku boy. Setelah aku membaca isi wall kamu semua kata kata kamu sangat bagus, makanya gw pengen shareing shareing sama lu, Gw mau shareing ini, menurut lu, kita buat contohnya sicowo dan sicew, jadi gini, sicowo dan sicewe ini 1 kantor tetapi beda divisi, kemudian sicow tertarik kepada sicew ini, tapi ngak tau kenapa mereka itu padahal jarang sebenarnya berkomunikasi, sicow tersebut suka sama sicew ini, karna cew ini smart, cantik, tapi sicow bingung memulai untuk menyapa atau maupun menegur sicew, menurut lu apa yg baik dibuat sicow ini run.. :D :)
    • halo....................... :"""D makasih yah opininya :"D hmm sicow sebenernya bisa ajak ngobrol sicew sih kalo ada kesempatan. namanya sekantor walaupun beda divisi tapi kan sebenernya ada aja kesempatan buat bahas sesuatu yang topiknya sama2 sicow dan sicew ngerti ;''''D atau mulai dari temen sicew. jadi pelan2 masuk ke lingkungan sicew dan jadi temen dia. coba untuk kenalan & bertemen dulu. dari situ kan ketauan kira2 ada peluang atau enggak. kalo enggak ya bertemen, kalo ada ya modusnya dilanjutin aja. hahahaha itu sih kalo menurut gw :'')
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  • 2015-06-02 07:01:50
    hi run, i need ur advice nih, i have a girlfriend dimana dia tuh selalu menjadi pusat perhatian, have a lot friend tho. she's a smart girl. dan terkadang gua minder setiap jalan sama dia, terkadang gua sering mikir latar belakang gua sama dia udah beda banget. meskipun statusnya kita udah pacaran nih ya. tapi tetep aja gua minder, kadang gua ngerasa kayak "sampah" aja/ untuk soal hubungan sih selama ini kita gak pernah cekcok besar. paling lama juga sehari marahan. jadi menurut lo gua harus gimana biar gua gak minder minder banget. thanks run!
    • hmm ternyata isu minder tuh emang makanan sehari2 orang kebanyakan yah :"") tapi di kasus lo sih sebenernya mungkin karena lo cowok aja dan punya kecenderungan harus lebih di atas cewek apalagi pacar. wajar sih. dan itu akan jadi positif kalo lo nyetir rasa gak pede lo jadi motivasi. motivasi buat lebih maju, buat lebih ini itu semuanya dibanding cewek lo. sebenernya logikanya sih lo harus pede. toh dia milih lo kan :"D dibanding laki2 lainnya di luar sana. walaupun lo bilang kalian beda dll tapi tetep aja, yg gandeng dia tuh elo bukan orang lain :""""") jadi ya kunci biar lo gak minder2 banget lagi adalah dengan menjadi orang yang emang hebat. hebat tuh apa? macem2. ini kita purely bicara soal realitas yang terjadi ya. laki2 itu katanya paling suka sama harta tahta wanita. padahal sih lebih kok dari itu. kalo emang seorang cowok gak punya mobil bagus, kerjaan keren untuk bisa nunjukkin kehebatannya, sebenernya kalo dia jadi orang yang baik nan jujur, bertanggung jawab dan bisa diandalkan (karakter2 yang penting banget menurut gw), cowok itu udh bisa dibilang 'menang' dan 'megang'. jadi untuk apa minder :""") gw saranin lo untuk kembangin terus diri lo & jadi cowok yang hebat dan keren, pinter aktif sukses. jangan lupa hatinya harus bersih :D jadi latar belakang yg beda itu sebenernya jadi "so what" banget. itu kan sekarang. bukan masa ke depan nanti. and... paling gampang sebenernya sih lo tanya dong sama cewek lo, kenapa dia milih lo :p langsung kejawab dong kenapa gak perlu minder lagi? ;)
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  • 2015-05-13 01:55:05
    Hey run ! Aku butuh bgt saran dari kamu nih. So, aku punya sahabat, dari SMA. jadi kalau dihitung2 kita udh temenan selama 7 tahun ini. Dari dulu , sahabat aku ini memang paling aneh, a bit posesif sama aku. Dan sometimes i felt annoyed because of that. Kita jarang berhubungan, sekali2 aja. Nah skrg berhubungan lg, dimana posisinya dia lg single, aku juga single. setelah kita deket lagi, tiba2 dia bilang suka sama aku. Dia sih ngakunya baru suka sama aku skrg2 ini. Dan dia agak suka nge push anaknya. Aku juga suka sih run. but im not sure gitu. Aku mau punya hubungan yg serius skrg, ga mau main2 lg udh umur 23 juga gitu. Tapi aku ga yakin sama dia, karna dia kurang bisa ngebuat aku yakin, terus dia juga orang nya agak pelit dan perhitungan. Tapi untuk sikapnya yg itu, aku ga tau apakah itu berlaku hanya untuk teman nya atau pacarnya. selain itu, dia juga kurang fight for run. Kaya misalnya mau pergi, aku bawa mobil, dia juga bawa mobil, dia mau nya ketemuan di tmpt yg deket dari rumah dia. Dia ga mikirin aku plg malem2 gimana. Nah menurut km gimana ? Aku bingung bgt. Dia udh blak2an sih , kaya blg kangen atau gimana2nya gitu.
    • :""""D hahahahhaha. gimana ya? :") cuma kamu sih yang tau. pilihannya kan cuma terima & stay atau cabs. dan satu2nya jalan untuk tau ini cara dia ngetreat temen atau pacar juga dengan coba jadi pacar dia. tapi menurutku bakal sama aja sih. soalnya ujung2nya kalo makin nyaman kan justru makin yaudah cuek sama2 ngerti :"D hmm aku pribadi sih kayak yaudah mandiri & independen aja. gak ngarep yang di-princess-in setiap saat. seneng sih kalo ditreat manja gitu. tapi enggak juga gpp :""D abis cape dong kalo ngarep tapi gak kejadian hahahah. bener sih di umur 23 gitu kamu emang harus lebih wise milih. karena kayak bom waktu :") meledaknya ya di target umur kamu nikah. hmm hahahah temenku waktu itu kasih liat capture-an gitu kan. ada yang di Instagramnya ngepost foto sama suami & anaknya, captionnya: "Kalau saya sederhanakan (dengan agak sarkastik hahah) memilih pasangan hidup itu semacam memilih masalah yang akan kamu hadapi seumur hidupmu. Lol. Dalam arti begini, waktu pacaran kamu harus sibuk mencaritahu hal2 apa yang tidak kamu sukai darinya. Pastikan kamu tahu persis kekurangannya yg harus kamu terima. Pikirkan bahwa dia akan seumur hidup seperti itu dan kemungkinan besar akan tambah parah (kalau membaik itu anugerah Tuhan). Kesalahan orang pada umumnya terutama wanita adalah menganggap ah setelah menikah juga nanti dia berubah. SALAH BESAR, pernikahan bukan sulap. Pernikahan tidak akan merubah apapun. Apa yg kamu lihat dia sekarang, itu yang kamu dapat. Malahan biasanya tambah parah hahaha. Semua orang punya toleransi yg berbeda2. Kalau saya, saya nggamau pilih orang yg kekurangannya adalah genit, matakeranjang, kasar, tukang bohong, sombong, egois nggabisa diajak komunikasi mau2nya sendiri. Ingat ya, kamu sedang memilih masalah yg akan kamu hadapi seumur hidupmu so be wise :) biasanya dari pacaran udah keliatan kok. Cuma kamu aja merem anggep sepele yg penting kawin dulu aja. Terus abis itu merana kok dia gini gitu padahal dari pacaran juga udah begitu hahaha. Got what I mean? goodluck!" hahahahah :") gmn? disadarkan atau dikuatkan? :'p
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  • 2015-04-27 15:53:16
    Hai kak runnn. Seneng bgt baca2 advice kakak buat org2, kakak keliatan dewasa dan bijak bgt :) ka aku mau tanya deh, aku baru aja putus sama mantan aku dan kita cuma jadian 2 minggu aja :( jujur ka, aku sayang sm dia dan dia jg masih sayang sama aku. Tapi aku ga bisa lanjutin sm dia karena dia pelit bgt sama aku kal. Tiap jalan tuh selalu pake mobil aku, trs kaya nongkrong nonton bensin tol dll juga kita bayar sendiri2 dan kadang aku yg bayar. Aku tau kak dia org yg bukan dr keluarga sulit ekonominya, temen temen aku yg kenal sm dia lebih lama jg bilang kok kalo dia itu papanya malah sukses gt. Dan ya emg dari sekolah2 nya dia aja dr tk-sma trs skrg kuliah itu dia selalu sekolah di sekolah elit. Tp dia terkenal pelit dr dulu kak, jadinya itu yg bikin pertimbangan buat aku, selama aku pacaran, aku ga pernah di pelitin sm pacar2 aku, jdnya aku rada kesel dan sedikit ilfeel wkt itu sama dia. Nah skrg udah putus, aku jg lg deket sm org yg jauh lebih baik dr dia, tp tetep aja hati ga bisa bohong kak. Aku masih sayang dia, dan belum bisa buat aku buka hati buat org lain. Menurut kal run gimana? :( apa yg harusnya aku lakuin? :(
    • makasih ya :"""D aku aslinya gak dewasa samsek.. kayak anak kecil.. huhu tapi yaudah gpp sama2 berjuang :""D hahahah. hmm gmn ya.. hahahaha kamu kalo udah ada keluhan kayak gini ya gak usah dipaksain sih. soalnya kalo sekali udah ada ketidaksukaan sama sesuatu yang spesifik & emang gak bisa kamu tolerir ya ke depannya susah. pasti jadi bahan berantem sama diri sendiri kayak.... "pgn putus pgn putus, ngapain sih gw sama dia".... jadi kayak nyesel gitu kan ga baik juga... kecuali kamu emang bisa terima kekurangan dia itu..... soalnya logikanya sih kalo kamu fine sama hal itu, pasti gak akan terlalu sering kamu mention :"""D makanya mending kalo udah ga sreg sama suatu hal yang menurut kamu fundamental ya... bye aja sih. apalagi sering ilfeel & kesel kan... ga enak pasti jalaninnya :""") kalo kamu udah bener2 mengerti & menerima... baru lanjutin <3
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  • 2015-04-26 13:50:56
    Hi Run! This is kind of a very deep question as for my personal life, as matter of fact, i need anyone's answer with truthful judgment and objective view on this. I have been in a very beautiful relationship with my guy, and later on now we have decided to step up to the next level, marriage; which I am grateful for that. The problem that happened is actually nothing between me and my spouse; rather it happened from the external side, some of the people who confronts us, and his ex. It sounds cliche, but as honest as i would like to confess, this indeed disturb my peace. I'll get back straight from several years ago when we first start our relationship. So me and him were best of friends for almost 10 years, and we were back then in a relationship with other person. As years go by we knew that we indeed; always adore and love each other; it happened quick, and as destiny calls; i broke up with my then boyfriend. It appears also too that he broke up with his then girlfriend, and after long years of "pretending", and long months not catching up, we met at a place, and we know we cant resist longer of our deep feelings. Sounds easy until here. The problem is, as we start to build our relationship and staying true to the calls of our heart, his ex apparently, extremely not happy with this. I have always know the girl as outspoken and over-courageous at saying words, but what happened is that, as she really hate what happened between us, she spread un-pretty words and rumors about us to the group of friends, which the same outspokenly as her, and what happened is that; we got hurt. Hurt by means, because of the rumors and falls judgement of a jealous heart of his ex, we were totally excluded from our circle of friends, back then. I know, gossip's are easy, gossips are going on, but indeed what happened to us back then was really affecting the way we see those person again until now. The worst thing is, the ex is friends with my spouse's friend is well, that she can also easily break down dirty words about me and my spouse to them; which is very disadvantageous for us. As the situation get worst, the rumor goes to my school; and what happened, some of my friends are taking step backs out of me. Simply we were back then isolated. What really hurts us is that we came to know that the ex is spreading dirty rumor only to the fact that she doesn't like what happen, not because it is the truth. Me and my spouse were both introverted people, by means we keep personal things to our self, so looking back, we cant even offend and maybe that's what made us seems wrong: our silence.now years go by and we are in a perfectly happy state. I got to meet the ex twice in those periods, by myself. Once I bum into her surprisingly, it was totally weird that she calls me "Hi, how are you? He just got his birthday yesterday rite?" with a big smile on her face. I dont know what that mean, or she has been okay or not, but my defense were kept saying that she is not good, thoughtful person, and she just faking it, that I keep regretting why i that time i just didn't confront her instead of her talking with me with non-sense and pretending like nothing was happened between us. Its as if I need to talk to her to justifies it all and to let her know i was hurt of what she and friends did to me. Generally saying run, i never know how to "hate" and "angry" to any human being, ever since that situation.and honestly only her that i can not forgive until now (i know am not generally this kind of person). The worst part of this is that, she leave some scars because of the way she talked negatively and rudely to everyone else about us, and now that the waves is calm, i think its unfair to be her just leave it okay and pretending nothing happens. My life was never dramatic since this happened, even it happened several years ago; I still have this strong defense about her (and some of her friends), because simply I still have traumatic cause of that event. What really got me holding the grudge is because she can say everything worst everywhere, in the social medias, to our friends, at the school reunion, every were literally. I first want to understand how it feels like to be her, i know she just get angry or jealous back then, but there's no right for any people to bring anyone else's life down, whatsoever. Funny that because of she was also back then in my circle of friends (acquaintances... or whatever), we will be somehow bump again someday, in friends wedding, or anywhere. And I personally cant fake, anything if i see her face. Any other facts that I should bring to you is that, on our early period of our relationship, she still trying to contact my spouse with relationship style of texting, still trying to get back the attention from my spouse's siblings, wrote something about my spouse in a sort of article publicly, still talking about my spouse.....; and these were all last year!: about should she saying happy birthday to my spouse, still posted in the soc med that she cant move on and that "he's irreplaceable", "Maybe he's only a story in life...", "Memory is sucks...", and maybe any other thing that i dont even know; but on the other side, after me and my spouse get together, she went go quickly to other guys and has been in a relationship with like 5 other men. We even been bump to each other with her and her then-new-boyfriend, with her saying "HIIII!!!!!" loudly and smiling so wide. Isn't that even not right? Runny, let me know based on your positive and objective judgement what is the solution on this. All I'm describing here were just facts, not judgement, so i hope you could also give some of the suggestions that can solve this objectively... Please let me know if you need any clearer explanation before you decide to give your judgement... Last but not least, i am lucky, and indeed grateful to have you!!! God bless you always , love. xx
    • hey!! God bless you too love. okay i'll try to point out my most objective views on this problem. it's quite simple yet must be pretty hard for you to put this into practice. dear, you need to strengthen your inner shield. read this article (http://goop.com/conscious-uncoupling-2/) -- relevant to your case is section 'INTIMACY & INSECTS'. it says "Life is a spiritual exercise in evolving from an exoskeleton for support and survival to an endoskeleton. Think about it. When we get our emotional support and wellbeing from outside ourselves, everything someone says or does can set us off and ruin our day. Since we can’t control or predict what another person does, our moods are at the mercy of our environment." "......With an internal support structure, we can stand strong because our stability doesn’t depend on anything outside ourselves. We can be vulnerable and pay attention to what’s happening around us, knowing that whatever comes, we have the flexibility to adapt to the situation." seriously, the first time I read that article (a good friend sent me), it changed me a lot. maybe some people have realized it, maybe some haven't, maybe some have applied it without realizing this exo/endoskeleton thing, but true... that's the only thing you can do: strengthening your inner shield. we don't need to talk much about that ex's behavior and attitude, because again... we can never predict how people treat us and we never really know their stories and perspectives.. so if this thing stresses you and traumatizes you very deeply, then it's purely your job to flip the coin and activate the bodoamat mode. it's apparently the best way to overcome this issue. because it's what you feel inside that disturbs you. her being the problem--somehow is tricky because you can't control her or other people. you can just either laugh at it or cry over it. it'll take a lot to shift the way you perceive it. from negative to positive. and..... time will help. "time heals what reason cannot", I agree. maybe 5 10 years from now you guys are OK with each other, go for a stroll together, who knows? you might think "it's too impossible", hey, who knew you would end up marrying your best friend? :""""") look at TimeHop and do believe that nothing is impossible. she might be such pain for you now, but maybe she'd become a joke for you next year, a good neighbor 20 years later, who knows? :"""D now.. for first aid, at least try to hold on to the so-called-easy-to-say-hard-to-apply patience..... call it the only way to survive for now. and, sweetie, the best revenge is to be happy with your own life, at peace. don't ever let what's happening outside, affect your inside. you must adapt. and for the gossips and stuff, well.. true friends are the most important, right? the ones who understand and accept you and your boyfriend in any circumstances. they're the ones worth to think about, because they really think about you and pray for your happiness. and definitely, they will never leave you both only for bad rumors. I'm happy knowing you're going stronger in the relationship, so why not try (harder) to be stronger inside? and adapt to the bad vibe brought by that chick? (re: bodoamat). if she still affects you, it means you're not 100% released from anger & grudge yet, which is OK, but slowly.. bear in mind that you need to forgive and let go. because really, there's no benefit in thinking about it. and.. trust time. it's good investment: faith in time. it will give you a lot in return. surprises and realities to learn from. so... take your time. take all the time you need :") <3
      Runny Answers :
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