image

LOVE & RELATIONSHIP

The mystery one can never decode
  • 2015-04-11 04:51:29
    kak mau nanya pendapat kk dong.. jadi baru2 ini sahabat ku tiba2 bilang kalo selama ini dia suka sama aku, padahal kita udah ga kontak2an. sekalinya kontak2an pun cuma ngobrol sedikit dan becandaan aja. dulu aku sempet deket banget sama dia dan beberapa temenku yang lain. di 'circle' kita, cowo ini emng agak 'ga laki', jadi emang wajar kalo aku sm temen2ku becandaanya agak ngelebihin batas kalo sm dia. such as, manggil 'beb' manja2an, dll.... aku bener2 shock waktu dia bilang dia suka sama aku, i feel a bit betrayed. i mean, c'mon we've been thru everything tghtr, u re sooo much my bestfriend. aku gatau harus stay cool meskipun dia udah bilang kyk gt atau menjauh dari dia, which means menjauh jg dari circle itu... ... dan ini bukan pertama kali, sebelumnya ada temen deketku juga yg bilang kalo dia suka sama aku, padahal kita udah deket banget dan curhat2 kalo kita lagi suka sm cewe/cowo lain... aku ga suka aja kak kalo temenku ada perasaan lebih ke aku..emng kita ga bisa temenan aja ya? pasti hubungan kita jadi berbeda kan kalo ada salah satu yg suka dan ga bisa temenan kyk dulu lagi..dan aku ga mau ngefriend-zone in orang jg.. gimana dong kak....
    • :"""D hahahahahah. ini udah ada 2 kasus serupa ya. menarik juga. simply saying, either kamunya ga peka + over friendly jadi orang salah nangkep maksud perilaku kamu, atau ya emang kamu terlalu menarik aja untuk ga disukain hahahahah either ways... ga masalah sih... yang penting kamu ujung2nya sebisa mungkin tetep jaga hubungan baik :"") hmm, kita tuh udah sampe di tahap ketika komunikasi yang jelas itu sesuatu yang sifatnya lumayan wajib. udah gede ini kan. jadi kalo udah ada temen yang nyatain gitu..... you don't need to feel betrayed. who are we to control someone else's feeling? dan kalo kamu gak ngerasain hal yang sama.. you should say it. tell him. "really? wow I didn't expect this. thank you for having that special thought about me, I appreciate it. I also respect and care for you, as my best friend." dan yaudah.. masalah kamu mau jaga jarak untuk sementara waktu, atau otomatis jadi awkward ya itu kan risikonya. yang penting udah ngomong dan gak terkesan unfair kalo langsung menghindar. dia juga nyatain kayak gitu ke kamu pasti udah menimbang2 risiko kalo2 kamu berubah kok :"""") itu aja baru 2 yg ngomong. jangan2 temen cowok lain banyak yang sebenernya naksir........ hahahahah. yaudah next time dijadiin pelajaran. kan kita gak tau orang tuh rawan baper atau enggak. makanya kita juga harus tau2 batas. ya dong? ;p
      Runny Answers :
      image LOVE & RELATIONSHIP
  • 2015-03-25 16:46:07
    hi ka Runny, how r u? It's me again (the one who asked about the hook-up culture a few months ago), thanks for ur answer. However, what I'm about to ask is still related to the same guy (yeah I know..) Here's the current situation: we've talked a lot, did "stuff" as well, fought a lot and he's made it pretty clear that all we were, all we are - just physical - period. Honestly, for now, I don't even know what I'm feeling towards this guy. Do I care? Yes, I do. Do I hate him? Yeah, sometimes. Kalau kata Frank Ocean "We're not friends, we're not enemies. We're just strangers with memories." He's actually a good man, he knows what he wants, he says it, it's just that things happened in a blink of an eye, I didn't realize it would go that fast. This Saturday, is his birthday (I really hope I'll get an answer before Saturday btw hehe), I asked him what present should I get for him. He said, he's been more than an ass to him and that I shouldn't be nice to him. My plan was to take him to my favorite Mexican restaurant, I don't care if he's been an ass whatsoever, if I care for someone, I don't expect much. I just want to give. That's what my heart's been saying, but I still want ur advice (guess my heart's not that confident anymore haha :")). OH! And anyways, happy holidays in Greece! Beautiful pictures :)
    • Hey. Replying via phone here...... I'm good :"") just arrived back in London and guess what? Thank God I somehow decided to randomly check new questions & answer yours this very instant. Okay. I say yes. Well, as long as he doesn't have any girlfriend then the only person you might hurt is yourself. But if you can be happy for his happiness, no matter how shitty he is, if you're not that fed up to stop, then proceed. Hahahahahahah. "Strangers with memories" is as beautiful as any kind of relationship labeling... At least for me :) so just make sure you're happy enough to get hurt, or whatever feeling you name it. Have fun & be safe tomorrow :p
      Runny Answers :
      image LOVE & RELATIONSHIP
  • 2015-02-25 14:11:19
    Kak run, aku bingung banget. Aku ngegap pacar aku line sama cewek lain bilang hi dan nanya orang mana, tapi aku bingung banget yg kaya ginian namanya selingkuh apa bukan sih? Aku emang ngerasa lucu kalo harus putusin dia, dia juga bilang kalo itu bukan selingkuh, tapi kan itu udah bibit mau selingkuh kan kak? Aku bingung banget apa yg harus aku lakuin kak :(
    • hahahaha. aku juga ga tau sih selingkuh tuh apa. karena masing2 orang beda. ada yang tau cowonya line an sama temen cw dibilang selingkuh.... ada yang cowonya jalan sama cw lain dibilang ga selingkuh. ini tergantung toleransi tiap orang sih. tapi kalo kata KBBI sih selingkuh itu artinya "menyembunyikan sesuatu untuk kepentingan sendiri; tidak berterus terang; tidak jujur; curang; serong" :""""""D hahahahaha. tapi kembali lagi kecurangan itu ada apabila ada pihak yang (merasa) dicurangi dan itu beda2. blm tentu A & B yang mengalami hal yang sama dan dua2nya ngerasa dicurangin. ya ga sih :""D kalo buat aku sih selingkuh itu kalo pacaran sama orang lain juga sih. tapi belom tentu cuma perselingkuhan yang nyakitin sih, hal2 kayak kebohongan, kecurangan, pengkhianatan, itu kan konteksnya belom tentu orang ketiga. krn selingkuh kan selalu identik dengan orang lain dalam hubungan :""""D hmm di kasus kamu ini, ya dia genit. lebih banyak alesan yang bilang kalo tindakan itu ga ada gunanya dibanding yang ngejelasin kalo itu bener as ini 'nambah temen', 'pingin kenal aja'. hm engga sih. harusnya ga gitu menurutku. ya genit ya iseng ya nakal ya coba2 ya kali bisa. hahahahahah palingan ya :'p hmmm. ga tau ya.. aku kadang mikir kalo kita nih sebagai cewe rada susah juga. beberapa orang bilang kalo itulah cowo, maklumin. well cewe juga ada yang genit tapi banyak juga kan yang engga. dan cowo, ternyata, juga ada banget yang ga gitu. aku kenal kok beberapa temen yang aku tau persis ga genit to that level. jadi kalo pada bilang "yaudahlah terima aja, lo mau cari yang sempurna kan ga ada" dll. well in a way, bener. ga ada yang sempurna. tapi terima aja itu ga tepat. "we accept the love we think we deserve". jadi harus ngaca. yang kayak gimana yang pantes jadi pasangan kamu? dan kalo kita tau deep down inside we never have the intention to cheat, we're loyal, it's better to be with someone who does and is the same. sebenernya biar ga makan ati aja sih. hahahahaha. ya kejadian ini tanda2 lah intinya. dia punya kecenderungan centil. itu aja sih. selingkuh ga selingkuh yang bisa jawab cuma kamu, kamu ngerasanya gmn? ;p
      Runny Answers :
      image LOVE & RELATIONSHIP
  • 2015-02-25 08:45:54
    kak run, aku ga bisa move on nih punya kiat-kiatnya ga
    • Broken Hearts by Lang Leav - "I know you've lost someone and it hurts. You may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly. Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have them all your life or you may have barely known them at all. Either way, it is irrelevant--you cannot control the depth of a wound another inflicts upon you. Which is way I am not here to tell you tomorrow will be a new day. That the sun will go on shining. Or there are plenty of fish in the sea. What I will tell you is this; it's okay to be hurting as much as you are. What you are feeling is not completely valid but necessary--because it makes you so much more human. And though I can't promise it will get better any time soon, I can tell you that it will--eventually. For now, all you can do is take your time. Take all the time you need." bagus ya... hahahahha. keren banget dia :"""") hmmm intinya, jalanin aja. hari2nya.. kebiasaannya.. hidupnya.. ada yang bilang katanya putus heboh drama dll itu tandanya Tuhan lagi kasih pelajaran untuk naik kelas. jadi santai aja :") it will be fair for you, eventually. :--D take your time & enjoy your life ;D karena buatku yg kmrn ya kmrn. hari ini ya hari ini. momen2 kmrn jadi memori. momen2 skrg untuk dinikmatin. yang belom ada besok tetep jadi misteri. asli hidup ini seru banget :") <3 ya kan? mana dong senyumnya? :p
      Runny Answers :
      image LOVE & RELATIONSHIP
  • 2015-02-24 08:10:52
    Kak, aku kan punya pacar, udah 2 thn suka sama dia eh jadian nya cuma 2 bulan aku ditinggal gitu aja padahal semalemnya masi kontekan biasa gitu gaada masalah, pagi2 dia mutusin aku dan kejadian itu udh 7 bln lalu tpi aku masih gabisa percaya.. gmna saran kk buat aku bisa lupain dia?:)
    • emang ketidak adilan kayak gini itu marak terjadi di kalangan manusia yah :D hahahahahaha. ya namanya juga orang. beda2 hahahaha. kalo kamu nanya cara gimana biar bisa lupa sih... aku ga bisa bantu banyak :""") kepalanya kan punya kamu :""") hahahaha. tp ayo kita bahas. kita nih biar hidup tenang sebenernya simpel banget. kontrol otak. simpel jawabannya tapi susah lakuinnya. harus banyak latian :""") since pusat dari segala2nya ada di situ.. jadi kalo kamu udah bisa tau caranya shift, sumpah easy bgt segala2nya :") aku sih kalo jadi kamu pasti awalnya kaget tapi yaudah. terus mau gimana....... kan ga mungkin juga maksain orang lain untuk mau kalo emang ga mau ;""") kamu kalo ga mau terus dipaksa kesel ga :""D jadi yaudah logikanya untuk apa dipikirin. such a waste of time. hiduplah dengan orang2 yang menghargai kita seperti kita menghargai mereka. kesimpulannya kan dia ga usahain kamu. jadi ya.... terima kenyataan itu :""D lagian ya, mending kamu fokus untuk memajukan diri. jadi orang yang lebih baik lagi dari segala aspek. sesungguhnya 'a better you' adalah balas dendam terbaik untuk para mantan :p
      Runny Answers :
      image LOVE & RELATIONSHIP
  • 2015-02-24 03:56:47
    Hi runny, i've been dating a guy for almost a year, we shared so many things and did a lot of things together. We shared stories, dreams and visions. Problem is he's a catholic and i'm a moslem. People told me to end our relationship but fact is the feelings become more beautiful everyday. What should i do?
    • :"D it's complicated for some people yet for some others it's not a problem. there's a lot of successful couples with different beliefs, right? :""D it depends on the family, local custom, the person's principle etc. usually in Indo it becomes an issue when religion difference in a marriage is a big no no for one's family. your statement "people told me" will not matter as much as "mom and dad said" hahahaha :") but really... it depends on you. maybe some couples out there in Western countries might not care about religion difference (some don't believe in God, some don't take account of parents' approval), so it depends on your own perspective; what you believe is right for you and your life. are you the type of person who is obliged to follow what is considered 'right'? are you allowed to choose your own path as an adult? or you're still someone's daughter whose decision needs parent's support? :"D you may think it's so beautiful and yes the relationship may have touched your soul in a way you can't explain. I suggest you to enjoy it. :"D it won't happen twice, really. a moment is just a moment at that certain second. be a better person in that relationship, inspire him, be inspired. just so you know that what "people said" can be yellow light for you to stay on the ground. yes he is beautiful, so is the feeling.. but don't give everything you have. spare that one egg for your own self. :") will this be a committed marriage later? no one knows. end it or not? it's your call. you know your surroundings well. decide wisely. enjoy!! :"D <3 all the best for you :]
      Runny Answers :
      image LOVE & RELATIONSHIP
  • 2015-02-16 12:08:28
    kak kasih aku nasihat dong aku suka sama cowo dan rasanya sangat ngga mungkin dia suka aku, kenal aku aja ngga, tau aku ada di dunia aja ngga padahal aku suka banget sama dia gimana dong kak aku harus gimana :" maaf skali lg klo sekiranya krang pantas :')
    • :"""D heyho. hahahhah. hmm :") jawaban di bawah juga ada yang mirip2 ya cuma kan dia cowok. hm :""D more or less sama sih. kalo mau dia notice kamu ada di muka bumi ini ya dengan cara coba untuk masuk circle lingkungan dia. :") kalo mau cara instan tapi ga sustainable sih gampang banget tinggal reach dari socmed tapi aku ga rekomen sih :"""""") karena kamu cewek mungkin lebih agak susah ya. tapi kalo kamu tipe yang cuek aja gerak duluan ya silahkan :"") tho... adoring from afar is better, I think? :p
      Runny Answers :
      image LOVE & RELATIONSHIP
  • 2015-02-10 08:06:57
    Kak Runny, at this day and age where people are getting busier, traffic are getting worse and one just don't have the time to socialise, how do you find a date?
    • hai :"""D hmm kalo kata supir taksi yang waktu itu gw naikin malem2 sih... jodoh itu bisa dateng dengan 3 cara. dari diri sendiri (random ketemu di public places :p atau mungkin Tinder :""D ), dari temen (dikenalin), atau dari keluarga (dijodohin) hahahah :""") jadi ya kalo waktu terbatas.. energi terbatas.. maksimalin waktu kosong yang ada kayak misalnya weekend gitu :") gencar2in aja jalan2 sama temen2 atau ikut kegiatan apa kek. soalnya pas dunia kerja sama pertemenan udah dead end banget ga ada calon berpotensi, yang harus dikejar itu lingkungan baru :""") temen lama kadang juga bisa loh ky pas lg reuni gitu :"D bahkan banyak yang ternyata jodohnya itu sahabatnya dia sendiri.. ga ada yang tau :") kalo itu kan sifatnya unpredictable. well now if you want to predict 'him', try to hang out more with your old friends, new friends, friends' friends :p just spare your free time to focus on hunting 'the one' :p kalo udah kerasa mendesak banget yah this urge of finding a date :') <3
      Runny Answers :
      image LOVE & RELATIONSHIP
  • 2015-02-09 11:49:31
    hi,runny.. web nya bagus bgt ini,smart idea.byk bantu.. i'm 23 old,,hhh..btw gw cowo, suka tertarik dan mw kenal sama cewe, tapi dia nya blum kenal sma gw.karna beda lingkungan dan pasti gw like a starnger di mata dia or cowo2 gk jelas.gk mungkin juga gw harus pamer ini itu bwt yakinin itu cewe tapi takutnya dia nilai gw sok,pamer,gk bgt gaya nya,, dan itu bukan tipe gw juga. sulit bgt ya kenal sma cewe yg bukan satu lingkungan??gw cuma tw twitter,fb,line nya.. apa ya yg hrs dilakukan biar dia welcome boleh kenal dan gk salah nilah gw kyk cowo gk jelas? sbgai cewe, mnurut u gimana ya caranya??? pusing nih,gw rela susah dan usaha bgt bwt itu cewe kenal dan mw berteman aj sdh syukur,.,, please answ n thx yasubveri
    • :""D makasih ya opininya :") hm.. iya sih. ada pola pikir di masyarakat Indonesia yang emang ngejudge banget cowo atau cewe beda lingkungan yang tiba2 muncul ajak kenalan di medsos :"""D itu kayak.. salah aja. di mata gw juga soalnya jujur emang kayak gitu. yang masih kenal dari temen aja kadang2 suka awkward apalagi yang ga selingkungan :"") first step & first impression selalu penting sih. judgment awal ngaruh banget soalnya. maksud gw emg lo jangan tiba2 ngajak kenalan via2 yang tadi lo sebutin Twitter FB Line :""") creepy sih. paling bener caranya lo harus cari mutual friend lo dan dia. dari situ bisa minta kenalan, pergi bareng dll. atau kalo emg bener2 ga ada, lo cari deh dia terlibat di organisasi apa, kegiatannya ngapain dll. research lo harus deep. emang terkesan super spooky kalo stalking sampe di level ini tapi ya kan ini strategi. :") untuk mencapai tujuan :") dari situ lo bisa punya label "temen les" "temen organisasi A B C" atau misal "kenal pas lari di GBK dia minta tolong" apa kekkk. modus kan intinya. tapi please jangan sampe kayak orang aneh gitu ya :""") do it smoothly :") good luck :D
      Runny Answers :
      image LOVE & RELATIONSHIP
  • 2015-02-05 05:20:25
    Hi, ka Runny! I've been thinking abt the decision I made a coupla days ago. I told my significant other that he was only "using" me. (Due to our uncertain label of relationship, he has this hook-up culture and me...yknw, most Indonesian girls--> gampang baper). I flipped out, I couldn't find a softer word. Before telling him that, I also told him not to small talk me via texts. Especially after we did "things". I told him, he didn't have to try to be nice or polite to me. It was already a love-relationship to him. Now I feel super bad bcs of it. When I met him in campus yesterday, I tried to be nice and it was just awkward. This is why I'm not looking for a relationship, I don't like losing people. Should I apologize again? Or should I play it cool? Thanks ka!
    • hey! hahahahahah. so interesting. this 'hook-up' term you used. I just got pretty familiar with that word YESTERDAY, when I browsed through Elite Daily's articles. I read this article titled 'when casual hook-up becomes intimate hook-up' HAHAHAHAHA. guess what? it's you!! SIGNIFICANT OTHER, really? :""""D hahahhaha! so funny how one theory caught my attention and the next day I found someone giving me a case study related to it :""") well. I'm pretty confused tho. yg baper kamu atau dia? if it's you and you want to stop the love-lose-hurt cycle, then why would you ask me how to behave and why on earth should you soften the word :"""""") isn't he doing just fine? :"") hahahahah. well, for me, you don't need to play nice or bad, nor consider his feeling way too far because I don't think he's thinking about this as much as you are kan. with this baper condition and all, it's you only, right? if he does too, then, yes you should talk through it. if not, then fuc* it :") you already explained it quite clearly I think. the decision you have made is to avoid further conflict with yourself anyway so it's basically good. the question is now whether you can maintain a good relationship with him as friends (awkwardness needs time to heal), and whether you can cut this whole hook-up culture with him. that might be the hardest part. so it's your call now. hahahhahah! exciting story btw! ;p <3
      Runny Answers :
      image LOVE & RELATIONSHIP
BACK TO TOP